i fear weight gain

really, i've had issues with my weight since high school. i've often felt i was bigger than i should be, even when i was underweight. when i started college, i started gaining weight and old high school friends said i actually looked healthy instead of like a stick. i became mostly comfortable with my weight when i started playing rugby, because you need to be strong and have some cushion :) except i kept gaining weight until i was over 185. that scared the crap out of me.

i started doing kickboxing and watching what i was eating more. no more sneaking over to mcd's for fries after work. naughty, naughty. i lost 15 lbs. i really wanted to get down to 165 before we got pregnant, but things worked faster than we though :)

now i'm stressing about gaining unnecessary weight. i know that i will gain weight because of the baby growing. but i am sooo afraid of getting close to 200 lbs. i also afraid of after the pregnancy, will i be able to loose it all? this stress is aggravated by the fact i'm hungry so much. yesterday, i was hungry all day, seriously. nothing could satisfy me. i'm being good and not grabbing unhealthy things, but it's hard.

if anyone has suggestions, i would greatly appreciate it. i'm not eating dairy right now. the only allergy i have is to walnuts. i need variety. help! :) off to eat some carrots. oh and that's a picture of me up there as a hungry monkey:)

not so motivated

sorry i've been quiet recently. there isn't much to share. i'm tired. trying to get to bed early (like 9:30). my night sweats are really bothering me. i'm off dairy for a week, as recommended by the accup, for my bloating. otherwise, i am feeling pretty good.

we have a midwife appointment next week. i'll probably have more interesting things to write then :)

sooo tired

oh my god, i just want to sleep all the time. i don't feel like doing anything at work, but i have to because my colleague is gone on vacation. blah. i've done a few things. mostly, i've been sitting, reading or messing around on the computer. oh and peeing. i am peeing so much! i'm trying to drink at least three full bottles at work. my water bottle is 20+ oz. that's a good bit of water, and i feel like i'm peeing every 5 oz. haha:)

also, my jeans are bugging the crap out of me. i think i'm bloated and even though i want to sit down, the waist is digging into my abdomen and annoying me. i feel like wearing a mu mu already. damn what's it going to be like when i actually start growing.

another thing, my abs are sore. in my obliques and right under my ribcage. what's that about? i know that i'm not growing yet. i don't believe it's due to an ectopic pregnancy (i already obsessed about that today). it feels like i did a lot of crunches yesterday and feel the pain today.

i'm actually doing rather well though:) this things are just little annoyances right now, and partly fixable. i think i've figured out my nausea. i just need to treat it like when i had big issues with hypoglycemia. i have a stock pile of things to eat at work. i need to figure out a good variety though. i know i'll get sick of nuts, fruit, carrots and hummus eventually. oh and i'm never eating popcorn again. i felt like a hot air balloon.

I'M PREGNANT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BFP (big freakin' positive) we have a BFP. i calculated the due date online:

Your due date is November 28, 2009.

Your baby was conceived around March 07, 2009.Your first trimester begins February 21, 2009. Your second trimester begins May 17, 2009.Your third trimester begins August 30, 2009

we are very very excited, and we feel extremely lucky. i had done a test on tuesday (after finding out the slippery pulse thing from my accup.). it had a very faint line, but it was still a line. i did a blood test that day too and my HCG was 15mIU. above 5 is good, but 25 would have been better. HCG doubles about every other day. i've done at home tests the past two mornings and the line is getting darker. we feel positive enough to tell everyone :) wow, i mean really. wow.

thanks for all the support lovely readers. of course i'm going to keep this blog going with pregnancy updates and photos and all that good stuff :) ok i can't stop smiling!!

slippery pulse

ok, i'm really trying to not get too worked up about this, but a slippery pulse can be one of the earliest signs of pregnancy in chinese medicine. ok, breathe kat.

my acupuncturist had notice last thursday that my pulse had become slippery (sorry can't explain much more because i don't understand it all). it was still slippery today. he hasn't seen it do this before in me.

i had thought something was up because when i asked to buy more fertility teapills last week he said to wait. hmmmm. when i got to work i looked online to see if an acupuncturist could predict a pregnancy. indeed they can. i asked him today about it and he didn't give me a definitive answer until after he did the needles and read my pulse again. he explained that he isn't thoroughly trained in reading everything about pulses yet (he's still pretty green, just two years out of school). but he felt he could tell me that he think i might be pregnant, especially considering other symptoms i'm having.

that's all for now. i'm going to try to not freak out. :)

tww sucks

spelled out- two week wait sucks. that's all for now.

i'm nauseated

hmmm... been nauseated since i woke up this morning. my belly also didn't feel so well when i went to bed last night. i tried to lay on my belly to write in my journal and it was just uncomfortable. could this mean anything??

cd19/dpo7