zzzzz....

i'm really not feeling motivated at work today. i'm sleepy... it was hard to get up for acupuncture.

acupuncture is going well though. today was my fourth visit in two weeks. i've been getting needles in pretty much the same spots each time. he'll add some if i have a complaint (back issues, etc.). today he went to put one in the side of my left hand and it hurt like hell! immediately it was on fire and felt bruised. he took the needle out right away and rubbed at it with a cotton ball. even that hurt. i knew it wasn't hurt by the needle (like a regular pin prick). it was totally different. he told me this meant that the qi was flowing well there. this is what i found out about the spot online, called hou xi (si3):

SI3: HOU XI
Location: At the end of the transverse crease proximal to the 5th metacarpo-phalangeal joint when hand is half-clenched.
Indications: Stiffness or rigidity of neck, tinnitus, deafness, occipital headache, lumbago, paralysis of upper extremities, night sweating, epilepsy, malaria

the purple writing are things i have. i'm going to ask him more about this next time. i really want to know how this works exactly. i haven't had night sweats for a few days now (since last acu. visit). could i have been helped by the acu., the supplement i'm taking, or is my body just doing it's own thing right now? the spot didn't hurt anymore by the time my session was done. there's no indication at all that i had pain there. crazy.

i started taking a chinese herbal supplement on monday, prescribed by my acupuncturist. it's called jia wei xiao yao wan, or free and easy wanderer plus :) here is what the website for the company that makes the supplement said:

Jia Wei Xiao Yao Wan has helped countless women relieve anger, irritability, stress and excess heat associated with premenstrual syndrome and monthly menstrual cycles. This special herbal formula regulates qui, nourishes the blood, clears heat/excess yang and generally harmonizes the body. ...help alleviate excessive heat/yin deficiency and sweating.

i have to take 24 of these little ball shaped pills a day (12/am, 12/pm). the are maybe 3/16" in diameter. pretty small. they are black and remind me of onyx. the reason why he prescribed these is due to my trouble with controlling my emotions sometimes, mostly with pms. i have night sweats, like i mentioned. also, he believes i have stagnant blood. i knew i "ran hot" compared to other people. i'm usually warmer than anna, and she calls me "furnace" when we cuddle. i also get annoyed very easily around my period. i've learned how to deal with it mostly but it boils over sometimes. anyways, i'm curious how these little pills with help when i'm pmsing.

i'm pretty positive i ovulated on the 10th. i'm waiting to see how high my temperature rises before i'm totally sure. i had a positive opk (ovulation predictor kit), ferns on my ovulens, low temp (with a spike the next day), fertile mucus, along with secondary conditions. this means we are less than a month from trying to get pregnant. eeeee! :)

i was looking at the calendar to see when this could be happening. if i have a luteal phase of 12-13 days again, and my follicular is about 13-14 again. i could be trying to get pregnant the weekend of my birthday!! holy crap. that would be a great birthday present.

oh those crazy hormones

damn that pms. it's making me wacky! yesterday afternoon, after a very very lazy morning, i was in a good mood. goofing around with anna, dancing around, basically doing stuff that involves "around" :) then, dum dum dummmm, i try to get dressed to go hiking. bring on the pouting and whining. "i'm fat", "nothing fits", "no, i can't wear your clothes, cause you're skinny dammit", "why can't i loose weight" and so on. i'm sure alot of you know what i'm sayin'. i know all the things i said aren't true, but it feels that way.

we went for a nice hike with olive (who hasn't really done anything bad since the last blog). it was at a local trail on cougar mt. it was just an hour hike in and back. what made it so great was that it was lightly snowing, flurries really, and it was cool to go from barely anything in the parking lot to a light covering on the ferns at our turn around point. so pretty. i was wishing i had my camera with me.

after the hike, anna had to go to a gaelic football meeting and i stayed home watching "american dad" on hulu. i made the mistake of starting to read another blog for a couple that got pregnant. these things suck me in. i went back to the very beginning when they first started trying. they had some troubles, took a long time, but ended up working. anna is home by this time and looking up data we had discussed before "what percentage of iui result in preg. vs. "regular" intercourse". the sad news is 4-10% vs 20%. 4%!!!! bring on the waterworks.

i start bawling. i want a baby sooo bad, and i don't handle failure well. i know that i'm not a failure if we don't get pregnant right off the bat, but i'm afraid that's how i'm going to feel. that's my nature. people keep assuring me that i'll be fine. i'm young and healthy. -sigh- i guess i can just keep doing what i'm doing and hope that march goes well.

here is what i'm doing now: i'm taking a few different vitamins/supplement. i have a triple omega-3 that i take 3 times a day, a calcium pill plus vitamin D i take 2 times, vitamin D liquid (very yummy with berry juices), alpha lipoic acid with green tea, multivitamin/mineral with lutein, chromium, selenium, folic acid (200%), and vitamin c. i'm going to start drinking a fertility tea on cd1*. it has chaste tree (vitex), red clover, red raspberry, and nettle. this will help in a lot of different ways. i'll discuss it later.

i've cut back on caffeine to doing half decaf/caf. my plan is to start having a cup just every other day. i've cut back on alcohol to just 3 glass/bottles a week. i plan to stop entirely in february except for special occasions (like our 5 yr anniversary!).

i upped the amount of fruits i'm eating to at least 3 a day. we've always eaten alot of veggies but i've started bring carrots, celery, and/or salad along to work also.

i'm trying to remain consistent with kickboxing. i need to start doing some exercises at home to strengthen my abs.

yeah, so i am doing a lot. i just hope it helps. so i end with a happy note, here is a picture of olive on a lovely hike we did to get to a mountain-top wedding for some friends.