i'm in kind of a bummer mood right now. we tried to go to a PEPS orientation tonight, but arden was screaming/crying in her carseat. she wouldn't calm down like she usually does in the car. we got at most 10 mins from the house. it felt like an eternity, and we decided to turn around. also, anna is feeling crappy. i think she is finally getting the cold arden and i had/have.
i'm determined to be in a better mood by the end of this post, but excuse me will i ramble for a bit. have you ever been mad at your baby? actually please don't tell me that you haven't. that will just make me feel like the worst mother. now, i don't mean that you are actually, truly mad at your baby. but frustrated. flummoxed. you're upset because your plans go awry and you can't do anything about it. but you think about it being caused by the baby. (and yes i realize i'm deflecting all of these emotions right now by using non-personal language) anyways. arden was upset, anna is sick, and i'm tired. spoiled evening. there, that's done with.
good stuff. hmm. arden happily went into the ergo today when we headed out for a walk. just the two of us. no puppy. we went to the library to pay a past-due fee (oops). then, she peacefully fell asleep. i thought she was just licking my shirt, a new favorite past-time, but she had dozed off face pressed into my boob :) we walked to a coffee shop in the neighborhood (about 15 mins away). she slept, i talked with my dad, she woke. we went into the shop and i ordered a sandwich. i intended to get it to go because she will often fuss after waking up on a walk. but she just chilled in my lap. i fed her with no issues, too. then it was back in the ergo when i finished eating. again she fell asleep, and slept 1/2 an hour. awesome :) it was a truly relaxing time and i shared it with arden.
she is doing so much now. she loves to sit up (assisted of course). we talk with each other. she seems to like books. she is definitely grabbing at things. her moves are still a bit spastic, but i think they are slowly smoothing out. i can make her giggle, but she doesn't always laugh at the same thing. i find that interesting. she's a mover and a shaker:) funny story: usually when she takes a shower with just one of us, we'll put her in the bouncy seat right next to the tub. we'll quickly do our shower stuff, then bring her in. when i took a shower with her earlier this week, i did the usual routine. as i'm rinsing off the soap, i hear a light thunk-thunk noise. i thought she was kicking the tub. i open the curtain and, low and behold, she is half out of the bouncy. she was kicking the floor not the tub. er, oops, guess we need to strap her in all the time now :)
we set up the pack-n-play in our living room recently. i wish we had done it sooner. it has a top area thingy that you hook up so you aren't putting the baby down low. it also has a bar across the top for toys. we attached a little sun that plays music and flashes lights. she loves it. she'll lay in there chewing away on the rings hanging down from the bar and kick-kick-kick. i can easily do some chores while she just chills.
i didn't do another sleep update after those two wonderful nights we had last week. arden returned to her usual sleep routine. it's ok. tiring still, even though it's better than when she was a newborn. she's staying awake more during the day. her naps are usually only as much as 1/2 an hour long. although she did sleep 3 hours this past saturday, but i chalk that up to her cold.
arden and i are going to fly to boise in the middle of march to see my mom and sister. my brother is even flying in from indiana. he hasn't met arden yet. i'm wicked excited to see everyone. i'm nervous about flying though. i would love to hear any tips for flying with a baby. it's only an hour long, but i worry about her ears. should/can i breastfeed during take off and landing to help her? does that actually help? any tips for going through security? what do i do with the carseat?
right i just remembered the social worker visit. it went fine. she was very nice. she just came in, sat on the couch and asked us questions. she wanted to know about our relationship (when we got together, moved in together, got married). did we understand what this adoption actually meant in terms of rights. the only thing that ended up actually being stressful was our dog :) she gets so excited when people come over. she thinks they're there for her. now, we just wait for the social worker to file her report. then, we set up a time to go before a judge with our attorney. good times :)
well, i think that's it. i hope everyone is doing well out there. even if i'm not writing consistently i am checking blogs. ok, ok, i admit i refresh my bloglist like 20 times a day :) hey, i like to know what's going on out there.
she's coming tonight as part of anna's adoption of arden. holy poop i'm nervous. lynn from family style love said she's friendly and it isn't as big a deal. i still feel like i need to clean my whole house. damn cold is making me tired.
i've a lot i've been meaning to write about. i'm hoping to find time tonight after the social worker leaves...
i don't know who this monkey is sitting next to me in her swing. it can't be my arden rose. arden doesn't sleep for 8 hours straight and then an additional 4. arden doesn't put herself to sleep in her crib. who are you little baby?? :)
yep arden is sleeping for us. i do not expect this to be a regular occurrence. a little recap for ya. sunday night we laid arden down in her crib all swaddled up, with her rain noise thing on, and the mobile going. she fell asleep all on her own before the mobile's 20 minutes were up! this was about 9:30. she then slept until 6:30. oh, my, god! i didn't sleep that whole time though. i woke up at 3 because i heard her squeaking on the monitor, but she didn't wake up. this happened again at 5. then when i heard her at 6, i swore she would wake up. so i went to her room and basically stood there wishing she would wake up because my right boob was as hard as a rock! haha :) she slept 9 hours straight.
so last night we didn't expect for the same thing to happen, but we wanted to try. we put her in her crib (swaddle, noise, mobile) at around 8. she had been rubbing her eyes, but didn't seem overly ready for bed. we wanted to see if she could manage on her own though. and she did! she did wake up around 9, but i just picked her up and rocked her a little. she fell back asleep until 4:30. i fed her and put her back down. when she woke me up at 8:30 i was very confused. had i woken up at 6:30 and just been so out of it i didn't remember. nope. ladies and gentlemen, she had slept 4 additional hours.
i am astounded to say the least. we are going to keep doing the bedtime routine as long as it works. i've got a bunch more to write about but the monkey needs to eat :)
i just deleted a post because it was too whiney. i was talking about how i'm jealous of my friends and how they are able to do whatever they want- i.e. they don't have a baby.
but the post contained too much self-pity. i love my new little family. yes, i want to be able to go to a fun party and drink flaming shots. yes, i want to stay up till 11, not because our baby won't go to sleep, but because we're still laughing it up with dinner guests. then i look at my little girl and see her smile at me. i hear her making new sounds everyday. she loves me, and i love her.
i know i'll adjust to this new life. it will just take time. i need to keep looking for ways to get out and make new friends. friends in similar situations. i need to remember that i haven't lost my old friends too. it's just a different relationship now.
i am open to suggestions/advice on this topic. i'd love to know how other moms have made this adjustment :)
anna and i have been together for 6 years today. i thought i would share our story in commemoration :)
we met about 7 years ago, while we were juniors in college (different schools). at the time, i was interning at a gallery. an ex-girlfriend of mine came into town to visit with her current girlfriend, anna. they stopped by the gallery. we chatted a bit and i learned that anna played rugby. i had been interested in rugby for a bit since i had a friend that played it, but i was recovering from arm surgery and had to wait to join.
jump to half a year later. i traveled to a rugby tournament with my friend that played in order to check it out. while i'm watching a game, i see this girl running around on the sidelines. she was wearing shorts and a turquoise sports bra :) it was anna. i went over after the match and re-introduced myself while surreptitiously asking if she was still with monika. they were no longer together, score! :) we hung out a bit during the rest of the day, but she was mostly helping coach her team.
after rugby matches, there is typically a drink-up. anna and i met up again there. i, being the round-about flirt, joked around about finding a girl at the party to make-out with. so anna and i went on the hunt. of course, anna was the one i wanted to kiss :) we got wicked drunk, as you're supposed to do at these parties, and made out. there was all kinds of debauchery: both of us making out with another girl that liked anna, me making anna puke and rally, making out in the port-a-pot (gross i know, but we were drunk). my friend, with whom i had traveled, and i hadn't figured out where we were staying that night. anna invited me to stay in her hotel room, along with 5 of her teammates. i ended up on the floor and didn't sleep a wink (drunk insomnia). i ended up getting up before dawn. anna heard me and got up too.
we decided to go swimming in the hotel pool across the road. we didn't have suits :) so while we skinny-dipped, we chatted and got to actually know each other better. we discovered that we both had the goal of hiking the pacific crest trail. i learned that she was more than a pretty girl running around in a turquoise bra :)
we parted ways later that morning. she was going to university of ID in moscow; i was at eastern WA in spokane. i did join rugby. we were on opposing teams so we got to see each other at games the rest of that fall season. i would occasionally stay the night with her. i was also dating a couple other women at the time and trying to figure a number of things out, so we didn't get serious. that winter, though, i went to visit her, the ex-girlfriend, and another friend. we went to breakfast. this was kind of when i figured out that i liked anna and wanted to see her more than just at rugby games. the other two girls i was dating weren't right for me for numerous reasons. anna and started visiting each other more often. our universities were an hour and a half from each other. that didn't matter :) i made numerous over night trips, barely making it back to school for class the next morning.
on february 8th, 2004, anna asked me to be her girlfriend. aw :) of course i said yes. we fell in love so fast, but it felt right. i joked that i was going to marry her that summer. she got into grad school at UW, and, since i didn't have any set plans, we moved to seattle in the fall.
we proposed to each other the following summer, and got married on august 4th, 2007. anna is the most wonderful woman. i am so lucky to have her as my wife and the mother of our baby girl. i love you honey.