i'm reading "my sister's keeper". i'm at work. bad news cause the book makes me want to cry. i want to cry for the family, but i also want to cry for myself.
there isn't really a way to know if your baby is going to get sick. of course, there is genetic testing, there's family history, but you don't know. we didn't know my beautiful niece would be deaf due to strep b and the medicine they gave her (this was in '95. just when they were trying to figure out strep b.). there are so many scary things out there we can't control.
i know a lot of these scary things are not the end of the world. my niece is a well-adjusted, regular teenager. my sis-in-law went to school and became an interpreter. i know deafness is not the end of life. this actually isn't something i fear, i'm just using it as an example of the unknown in the world. i'm just feeling that maternal fear, and trying to figure out how to express it. :)
when i posed the question of baby gender to folks, my brother asked me what i am really wishing for. i just want a happy, healthy baby. simple as that.