Thursday, July 16, 2009

don't cry at work

i'm reading "my sister's keeper". i'm at work. bad news cause the book makes me want to cry. i want to cry for the family, but i also want to cry for myself.

there isn't really a way to know if your baby is going to get sick. of course, there is genetic testing, there's family history, but you don't know. we didn't know my beautiful niece would be deaf due to strep b and the medicine they gave her (this was in '95. just when they were trying to figure out strep b.). there are so many scary things out there we can't control.

i know a lot of these scary things are not the end of the world. my niece is a well-adjusted, regular teenager. my sis-in-law went to school and became an interpreter. i know deafness is not the end of life. this actually isn't something i fear, i'm just using it as an example of the unknown in the world. i'm just feeling that maternal fear, and trying to figure out how to express it. :)

when i posed the question of baby gender to folks, my brother asked me what i am really wishing for. i just want a happy, healthy baby. simple as that.


  1. It is scary how many things can go wrong.

    We did do genetic counselling, and if you have any family history of things I think it's an excellent thing to do, but it is absolutely not a guarantee at all.

    One thing I would advise you to avoid is NOT to read too many blogs about preemies during the time at which your child, if born, would be dangerously premature. That was the most scary prospect to me... and once we hit thirty-some weeks, it was okay.

    I very much hope you have an happy healthy little girl who is as athletic as she appears in your ultrasounds!

  2. One of the worst things about being pregnant is all the worrying that comes along with that growing baby. It's impossible to stop.

    My Sister's Keeper is a great book. So sad though. I haven't seen the movie yet... not sure if I want to.

  3. It is def a scary thing! With my son, I was almost terrified to bring him into the world. I felt like after he was born I couldn't protect him anymore, from disease and from the world. That changes though, I went through a phase right after I had him being extremely over protective, but I soon realized that kids are tough. They come with very strong built in protection. Even after he was diagnosed with mild autism, I saw that with some work and dedication (which is easy to come by when its your child) anything can be overcome, and no detour in the road is too much to handle. Don't worry so much, your baby will have a great life, and come into this world with fabulous parents. Be there for her and everyday will be a joyous experience.