Wednesday, April 28, 2010

just do it

i just need to start writing and something will come out of it. don't have an idea for this post, i'll just need to make it up as i go along.

arden is really cute. i love her. :) she makes the funniest noises. i'm so proud of her rolling capabilities. she's started lifting her butt up and kind of bringing her knees up to the side. with all this mobility, i've realized our house isn't really a moving baby house. we have hard wood floors. we have area rugs down, but really, can you keep a baby on a rug?? she keeps rolling off the blankets i lay down and bonking her head. did i mention the rug is wool? so she gets these lovely furry hands whenever she gets to it. and we have a cat and dog that shed. i'm constantly picking hairs off her face. yuck. our house isn't very large. it's comfy. suited to us. but our furniture gets in the way of the babe moving. i've taken to rotating the coffee table 90 degrees so arden has more rug. i think we need to move it somewhere else in the house and get a smaller, more portable, table.

our house is terribly un-babyproof. i don't know what we are going to do with our things when she really gets going. i love having photos and art around me. a number of these things are going to be at her level. harris has already shown me that if it's in reach it's for playing. i've been trying to pair down on the stuff we have since moving into this house. but man, i don't want to get rid of it all, i don't even want to put it away till arden, and subsequent children, aren't so grabby. what to do? what to do?

why won't arden nap on her own? at 9 this morning i fed her and she just chilled in my lap afterwards. totally drowsy. i decided i would put her in the crib with mobile and sleep sheep. nope, not sleeping. i decided to comfort nurse because she was fussing. this was at 10. she fell asleep. i went on to try numerous ways to put her down without waking her. last resort, i put her on the changing pad because it was high enough for me to put her down without breaking contact. then i was going to pick the whole thing up and put her in the crimb. i got her on the pad, wrapped in a blanket, asleep. i was about to grab the whole thing, then she startled herself awake. darn it. i picked her up. rocked and shushed. she commenced with babbling and grinning. she was only asleep for 15 minutes. and not deep sleep. it's now 11 and she's just been playing in the crib. eating her feet. rolling over. squawking. i thought she fell asleep at one point because she had been quiet for 5 minutes. i went in and found that she had pulled a blanket over her face and was quietly talking. oops. she's happy in there, so i'm just going to leave her be and see what happens (without the blankets fyi). but man, this girl and her naps.

we are getting some decent night sleep. -please don't let this following paragraph ruin our good fortune!- we've been getting her to bed around 7:30. two nights this week she went to bed without the boob. awesome! she's been sleeping until 1 or 2. wakes to eat and then goes back down. we had one night that she decided she wanted to be awake from 1:30-3 (that sucked). but otherwise she's been sleeping until 5 or even 6:30. so that's about 6 hours followed by about 3 or 4. and usually she'll sleep another 1 to 2 hours after that. works pretty good. guess what though. i really miss a solid night of sleep :)

something that's been on my mind a bit lately is feeling happy and feeling satisfied. i've been pretty happy with life. i have a lovely wife, pretty baby, nice house. but i haven't been feeling satisfied. i don't know if it's not feeling a sense of accomplishment. maybe if i was doing things that garnered results i would feel better. i'm in a bit of a rut. it's odd but maybe i'm depressed even though i'm happy. i've dealt with depression before. i've been on anti-depressants for years now. i want to do things but i'm having trouble setting them in motion. like i want to make curtains for arden's room. i bought some awesome fabric. lynn gave me her old sewing machine (thanks lady!!). but the fabric is still in it's bag. the machine is still in my car. i use the excuse that i don't have somewhere to put the machine because all my crafting supplies aren't unpacked yet (yes, 6 months after moving). and i just can't get my butt downstairs to move it all. i'm sitting on the couch blogging. which i haven't done in about a month, and needed to be done. but did it need to be done right now? argh vicious circle!!

babe is fussing now. need to go attend to her. yup, thanks for reading my randomness today. maybe i'll get my stuff together soon and write some real coherent posts :)


  1. I know exactly how you feel Kat. My teacher calls it Unsatisfactoriness. Its part of life, we are always reaching for something else. You need to find something for just you. Something you can do to get out of the house and away from Mommy-mode.

    When Peyton was a baby we moved into our old house, same deal, wood floors. We bought this giant ugly rug and he played on it some what. We couldn't keep him off the wood, I felt so bad for his little knees. At least he didn't get rug burn on them like Avery has. Good luck with the animal hair. Maybe get a swivel sweeper? Its like a mini vacuum thing that you can use on wood.

  2. I am happy to help you unpack the crafties and sew some curtains! Even if it just means that I play with the little bits, and you hack away at the boxes and wrestle the new sewing machine!

  3. Jolyon crawls all over our wood floors and doesn't seem to mind. Babies are lighter so there's less pressure on the knees than if we were crawling on the floor. Head bonking is an inevitable part of being a baby - their heads are pretty hard.

    Our living room rug is also wool and probably 80 years old and not washable, and he chews on the edge of it, but what can you do? I try to vacuum regularly, but there is still a lot of cat hair.

    Doesn't art hang high enough on the wall that kids can't reach it? We don't want to strip our house of everything aesthetic and adult either.

    This is all to say, I totally sympathize with your babyproofing angst.