a note for raene

i miss your blog :( you went private. i would love to catch up on what's been going on with your family. my email is on my profile... hope you're well :) this was the only way i could think of contacting you.

video

here is arden at 1 mo, 1 wk, 4 days :) she's even bigger now, but just as beautiful.

big update

arden had her first pediatrician appointment on thursday. here are the specifics:

weight: 12 lb. 4.8 oz.- 90%

height: 23.4 in.- 90%

head circumference: 15.71 in.- 83%

arden took the oral immunization just fine, and howled at the 3 shots. i just about cried along with her. what i really struck me was seeing her bleed. i just wanted to take all her pain away. i wasn't able to BF her while she got the shots, but was ready right after. the doctor said she was doing well. they gave us a print out at the end that listed developments that are expected to happen in the 2-4 month time frame. arden has accomplished some of these. here's the list, if you're curious:

makes babbling, cooing sounds- check

eyes follow moving objects; focuses closely on faces- check

head bobs when held sitting- check, but still floppy

reaches for objects, may hold rattle briefly- not reaching consciously yet, but is holding items we give her

sucks fingers, thumb, or pacifier- check, but not the pacifier. i wish she would take the paci. it seems like it would make things a bit easier for me :)

rolls side to side- nope

smiles; responds and enjoys people- check

i've also noticed arden's attention span is expanding. she is becoming more comfortable being left on her own in her crib, bouncy seat, and swing. she really likes the mobile we put up. she doesn't fall asleep while watching it though. if she gets tired while in her crib, she wants us to pick her up. she has fallen asleep in the bouncy and swing. this has been a slow, gradual thing though.

sleep is easier, but still not easy. here's how it goes starting from when she goes to bed at night. she's been typically been going to sleep between 9 and 10. she sleeps for 4-6 hours. she wakes to eat, then sleeps for 2-3 hours. this puts us around 6 am. i get up and feed her, put her back to bed. she could sleep for 1-2 hours. i get up and change her if it's been an hour, if it's been 2, i feed and change her. then, either way, we hang out in the living room for 45 minutes. i call arden a "one hour baby". she gets fussy after an hour of being awake. so we interact/play for 45 min. then she gets fussy and i swaddle her. i dance/walk/jiggle her around the living room. if she gets really fussy and can't stop crying, i go to the bathroom and turn the cold water on full blast. this typically snaps her out of it and she falls asleep. i've discovered that she can't be set down right after falling asleep for a nap. i hold her while i do stuff on the computer. she tends to wake up every 10-15 minutes, but not completely. i just need to jiggle her a little, and pat her bottom to get her back to sleep. after an hour of this, she seems to be more deeply asleep and could sleep for another 1/2 hour to an hour. this is our routine for the rest of the day, with some variation when we go for walks. when she is ready for going to bed at night, it could take up to two hours of holding her before we can really put her down.

this whole process is a lot less stressful than what we were doing before (laying her down after she falls asleep). i actually feel more free with this routine. but it could be better. it would be nice to be able to eat dinner with anna (she takes over with arden when she get home from work), for us to be able to do things around the house together. i love that arden does sleep so long for the first part of the night. i'm feeling more rested than i have since she was born. i know each week (each day even) will be different with arden. she'll continue to grow and mature. i thing i learned from the pediatrician was, supposedly, once a baby reaches 14 lbs. they shouldn't need to eat during the night. i'm not expecting this to happen, but it's a nice thought :)

arden is eating every 2 hours during the day. she is such a good eater. i really enjoy feeding her. even though i don't like waking up in the middle of the night, i love seeing her fall asleep after eating. she seems so content.

i usually pump once a day in the morning. i've noticed an increase in the amount i get out. i get more from my right side than the left. midwife told me this is pretty normal, most women are uneven. the past few days the amount has increased from 2 oz to as much as 6 oz. my left breast is only giving me as much as 2 oz. i've been pumping the breast that arden didn't just eat from and then i "empty" the one she did eat from. i'm hoping my lefty will get with the program :) i don't really need to be getting a lot, but i like having a good bit in the freezer. most often i'm pumping because i'm getting engorged. this morning i had a dentist appointment (8 am, yuck!) and anna was able to take care of everything because we had freezer milk. i was even able to stay out to get my hair cut :)

the past two weeks have been good. i've enjoyed all the things i've had on my schedule (except the dentist). yesterday, we met lynn from family style love. the whole family was great :) harris was just as cute as he looked in the videos. he seemed rather taken with me, haha. stella was such a doll. i love her red hair. lynn and mindi were so friendly. i really look forward to our future playdates:)

i've been wanting to post a video of arden. i finally downloaded all the photos and videos we've taken to my laptop. i feel i need to counteract arden's grumpy photos from hanging out with lynn too :) kidding. i'll post a video, hopefully, later today. the file might be a bit large. i was having trouble with it just now.

hope everyone is having a great weekend!

translation

on my last post i received a comment in chinese. i put it into a translator and this is what it said:

"The sake of the happiness of others first, is Superman; the first for the sake of their own happiness, is mortal; to make other people unhappy, he is not happy, is imbecile."

very interesting... who is this person? what were they intending to say? i'm not taking it as a negative comment. just a very curious one.

arden has her first pediatrician appointment tomorrow. i received a call from their office this morning. the lady made two mistakes: called arden a boy (based on her name), and assumed i had a husband. -sigh- i guess these are things i'll have to get used to correcting. i'll try to do a nice big post tomorrow about the appointment and all that arden has been up to :) she's growing up so fast!

good week :)

well, i was very nervous about anna going to alaska, but it all worked fine. i didn't have a single breakdown! haha :)

tuesday went ok. arden was fussy in the afternoon so i threw her in the car and went to my old work to show her off. bedtime went really well that night. on wednesday, she slept for 2 1/2 hours in the moby for one stretch, and i managed to get a lot of housework done. the ladies and baby from mesdames plus baby came over and hung out that evening. while they were over i got to take a shower and vacuum. and they did the litter and took the trash to the curb for me:) so sweet. they even hung out and tried to soothe a very fussy arden. even sweeter. thursday we went for a nice long walk. it was warm for most of the week and i saw crocus blooming. crazy flowers, it's still january! :) anna's sister, aimee, came over after work to hang out for a bit. then an old rugby friend came and cooked a lovely dinner (winter green salad and salmon). i even enjoyed a bit of wine. again, i was surprised at the resilience my friends have for staying over even though arden is crying/screaming. arden was just fighting sleep. so frustrating and exhausting for me.

my mom got into town yesterday morning. we basically hung out at the house all day. arden took a 2 1/2 hour nap again, but not in the moby. she fell asleep in my lap after eating and i just kept her there for an hour. i thought she would wake up when i put her in the crib, but she remained asleep. so nice. my mom napped then too :) and i read for a bit. mom got to see the full extent of my repertoire to put arden to bed. i used a new trick. i bring her to the bathroom and turn the cold water on full blast. it snaps her out of her crying jag and falls asleep within minutes. lovely :)

anna got home at 1 am and it's been so nice to have her home today. i think i was just going, going, going while she was gone. constantly turned on to do everything for arden. today i felt like a hit a wall in the afternoon. my body seemed to suddenly say "you're done. go to bed." so i actually took a nap, while anna took arden for a walk. i probably could have slept for hours, but arden was crying when anna got home. oh well :)

but the most awesome thing this week- mom babysat arden so anna and i could go see a movie. albeit we just walked two blocks to the theatre and came home right after, but it was great :) we saw invictus, a movie about south africa/nelson mandela/rugby. i like it a lot. arden was very good for mom, took her bottle and slept about half the time. i was able to feed her when i got home and she went down to bed like an angel.

mom leaves tomorrow night, and anna goes to work again on monday (thankfully not out-of-town), but i feel like i survived a difficult test just fine. i know there will still be bumps in the road and i'm sure i will still shed tears on hard days, but i'll be ok :) i can be a mom, and a good one at that.

thank you

thank you all for your kind comments and checking in on me. i really appreciate it. i know i'm not alone, it just feels that way sometimes :) i need to start being proactive about getting out besides my walks with arden and olive.

i feel like i now have a packed social calendar! i'm seeing the ladies from mesdames plus baby on wednesday night. thursday, i hopefully have a friend coming in the afternoon. also, a friend will be coming over with dinner that night. my mom gets into town early friday morning for the weekend. the following week arden has her first doctor appointment (eek, shots!). then i'll see my due date twin from family style love on friday. oh and i go to the dentist at 8 am on saturday (gag, big time). this all makes me feel so much better. i love arden to pieces but being around her 24/7 is starting to wear on me. i think that even if it's still 24/7, but involving other people, things will improve.

speaking of my big girl :) today she is 6 weeks 5 days, holy cow. time is flying by so quickly. we had our final midwife appointment today. we found out she is 11 lbs 5 oz and 23 1/2 inches. i looked up the percentiles for those numbers. she is 75% in weight and 95% in length. i've been feedin' her real good, haha.

breastfeeding is going truly well. i've just needed to chill out about how much she wants to eat. she seems to want a lot more in the evening, and i needed to realize that this ensures a nice long first stretch for the night. typically, she sleeps 4-6 hours, then wakes up every 2-3 hours. now, if we could put ourselves to bed at 7 or 8 we would be golden :) we've been blessed to not have the sleep issues from the daytime carry over into the night.

i just absolutely lost my train of thought cause anna asked me a question. ha! oh well. i hope you all have a good week. i know i'm going to try :)

am i on a seesaw??

today was not a good day with arden. it is just so exhausting. we have good times during the day where she is so smiley and seems to like interacting with me. but then she turns into this fussy monster, and stays that way. -sigh-

anna has to go to alaska next week. i'm absolutely dreading this. she'll leave tuesday evening and come back at midnight friday/saturday. my mom, fortunately, is getting into town early friday morning. i just don't know what i'll do the other day/nights. when anna gets home in the evening, even on good days, i'm ready for some help with arden. my back hurts, i'm tired, i just want to move freely. anna said i should have people come over to help, but it makes me feel guilty/bad/anxious having someone else take care of my crying baby. i'm crying now and feeling like a stupid bum. i don't have a best friend that i can just call up and come over. i don't have my family here. having a baby is making me feel more alone right now. i really wish i had close friends in the same stage in life right here. i hate feeling so confused all the time.

-really big sigh-

on a different track, does anyone know if vitamins/supplements could upset a baby? i've tried looking online and in my books, but i'm not having luck. i'm just trying to figure out if this there could be a correlation between arden's fussiness and the vitamins i'm taking. they aren't anything unusual. i take a prenatal, vitamin b, vitamin d, calcium, and omega 3. some days all i manage to grab is the prenatal.

a wee post

the day isn't done yet, but so far so good. arden slept alright last night. we had a nice smiley early morning. then she napped in her crib from 11:30-12. woke to eat and be changed. fell asleep in my arms on the couch from 12:30 to 2:30. popped her in the ergo for a quick run to the baby store, now at the library and she's waking up.

gotta run!!

naps

argh! i'm really really trying to watch for when arden gets tired. i've gotten some of her cues: rubbing her eyes, zoning out, droopy eyelids. so i'm trying to get her in nap mode before she gets spastic. definitely not having success there most of the time.

the other problem is getting her to stay down. here is what i've been doing. i turn out the nursery lights. swaddle her. turn on the rain sounds, and rock her a bit. she gets sleepy, eyes close, and i put her down. she's fine for 5-10 mins, if i'm lucky. i'll here her start to "talk" and then it becomes a definite cry. i go in try to just jiggle her while she's laying down to see if she'll go back to sleep (it's worked a couple times at night). if it doesn't work, i pick her up. i rock and shush her till she's calm. depending on how many times i've done this, i'll give in and get her to sleep and keep her in my arms for a while.

i just feel like i don't know what i'm doing. i've read a million different things for tips. should i let her cry? i really don't want to. should i give up at a certain point and stop trying to put her down, even though she's tired? i'm struggling here. i don't want an over tired baby because that just makes it even harder to get her to sleep. i don't want these problems to carry over into nighttime sleep.

help!

no computer

well kind of... anna's old laptop died pretty much, so i only have the use of her work laptop when she's home. or i can go to the library. either way posts might be a bit sporadic, but most of you are used to that from this blog anyways:)

today was anna's first day back to work since arden was born. it was very, very hard. arden ate every hour from 7:30 to 12. she cried a lot. i almost cried a lot. i managed to get her to nap on a walk in the ergo. talked to my midwife and confirmed that everything was normal and i can make it through. got arden to go down for a real nap at 3:30 and i also slept for 1/2 an hour. arden ate again at 4, then slept until 6. we woke her up then to have her eat. we kind of didn't want to but we are wanting to instigate a bedtime. we are hoping it will make nighttime easier for all of us. going to bed at 11 doesn't make us very functional adults.

right going to go take a shower. i missed having that luxury today.

slightly unhappy, but very cute, baby :) we had to get her in this outfit before she outgrew it because it was just adorable!