the other problem is getting her to stay down. here is what i've been doing. i turn out the nursery lights. swaddle her. turn on the rain sounds, and rock her a bit. she gets sleepy, eyes close, and i put her down. she's fine for 5-10 mins, if i'm lucky. i'll here her start to "talk" and then it becomes a definite cry. i go in try to just jiggle her while she's laying down to see if she'll go back to sleep (it's worked a couple times at night). if it doesn't work, i pick her up. i rock and shush her till she's calm. depending on how many times i've done this, i'll give in and get her to sleep and keep her in my arms for a while.
i just feel like i don't know what i'm doing. i've read a million different things for tips. should i let her cry? i really don't want to. should i give up at a certain point and stop trying to put her down, even though she's tired? i'm struggling here. i don't want an over tired baby because that just makes it even harder to get her to sleep. i don't want these problems to carry over into nighttime sleep.
help!
It's so hard! Have you tried a pacifier at night? Do you have The Happiest Baby on the Block? That book is really helpful. Personally ithink it's too early to let her cry.
ReplyDeleteWe are having the same problem, so I have no advice. I'll be back to read others' suggestions!
ReplyDeleteIn our family we have been huge fans of the graduated extinction modified-cry-it-out, but Arden is way too young to be doing that sort of thing. It wouldn't be a learning experience where next time she calms down sooner. Month old babies don't have the neurological skills for soothing themselves yet, or learning that they're meant to be going to sleep.
ReplyDeleteIn another handful of months, totally different story! Like I said, it's worked great for us... but age 4-6 months is the earliest sleep training can work. In the meantime, she's not young enough to be spoiled and you have to do what you have to do to soothe her. Have you tried wearing her in a wrap or sling so that you can not put her down but not be super disruptive to your own ability to get things done? Have you tried or are you using a pacifier? That was pretty much the #1 magical solution for Jolly at that age, but babies vary greatly. Are there other places besides her crib that she falls asleep more easily? (Swing, bouncy seat, car seat/stroller combo, whatever.)
That said, if you're at the end of your rope and you are getting frustrated, it will not hurt Arden if you leave her to fuss for a few minutes in her crib while you regroup. That does not make you a bad mom at all! It's so much better for you to take a 10 minute break and then have recharged your ability to be emotionally connected and responsive, than for you to start getting really upset and distraught yourself. You also need to take care of yourself, too, before you can help her.
I am one of the parenting types that does not believe in letting an infant under 3 months (at the earliest!!!!) cry it out. It is cruel and unneccesary. Also, I would recommend gettind a wrap or carrier of some type. She will feel so much more secure, and she will sleep a lot more. I totally understand wanting to get a "schedule" going, but I remember that it didn't happen for a good number of months with Harris. Babies take a while to figure out the whole sleeping thing, so I suggest you get a good wrap or carrier that is comfortable for you and wear your baby as much as you can. Good luck!
ReplyDeletei really didn't think letting her cry now was appropriate. it just seems so wrong. glad we're all in agreement:)
ReplyDeletewe have the video "happiest baby..." the techniques do work. she likes the pacifier sometimes. it also seems like it wakes her up when it pops out though.
i'm not trying to get her on a set schedule. it is definitely a loose, one-day-at-a-time nap routine.
we have an ergo, but i'm trying to find a moby. she falls asleep in the ergo when we go for walks, but i don't find it that comfortable.
Naps can be so hard. Sometimes they take and sometimes they don't. I would only say it's appropriate to let her cry if she is able to resettle herself within a few minutes. At that age, our guy just kept getting worse so letting him stay there hysterical was not an option. Now that's he's older, 5 min of crying may lead to a nice nap so it really depends on their age and personality. Just remember, your little one is very young and things will keep changing. Just take it a day at a time (sounds like you are). Hopefully things will improve with time.
ReplyDeleteJolly did occasional crib napping at that age (I think), but much of his napping took place in our laps, on the sofa next to us, in the stroller during walks, etc. We had planned on a lot more baby-wearing, but he didn't like it much. If Arden likes to sleep in a carrier, that could be a really good solution. I find the moby to be very comfortable - we tried a couple other carriers out and they both hurt my back, but the moby is great, so I highly recommend it. They sell them on Amazon, and a couple of my coworkers found theirs at second-hand baby shops.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! A baby who won't nap when you know she's tired and you want to do something else for a few minutes is really frustrating, especially when the other parent is at work so you can't hand her back and forth.