Thursday, January 14, 2010

am i on a seesaw??

today was not a good day with arden. it is just so exhausting. we have good times during the day where she is so smiley and seems to like interacting with me. but then she turns into this fussy monster, and stays that way. -sigh-

anna has to go to alaska next week. i'm absolutely dreading this. she'll leave tuesday evening and come back at midnight friday/saturday. my mom, fortunately, is getting into town early friday morning. i just don't know what i'll do the other day/nights. when anna gets home in the evening, even on good days, i'm ready for some help with arden. my back hurts, i'm tired, i just want to move freely. anna said i should have people come over to help, but it makes me feel guilty/bad/anxious having someone else take care of my crying baby. i'm crying now and feeling like a stupid bum. i don't have a best friend that i can just call up and come over. i don't have my family here. having a baby is making me feel more alone right now. i really wish i had close friends in the same stage in life right here. i hate feeling so confused all the time.

-really big sigh-

on a different track, does anyone know if vitamins/supplements could upset a baby? i've tried looking online and in my books, but i'm not having luck. i'm just trying to figure out if this there could be a correlation between arden's fussiness and the vitamins i'm taking. they aren't anything unusual. i take a prenatal, vitamin b, vitamin d, calcium, and omega 3. some days all i manage to grab is the prenatal.


  1. Hey kat, wanna come over? No joke, and I promise, I won't even mind getting spit up on! Email me- ok? :)

  2. We'd looove to come over on Wednesday and hold your SO TINY baby! That's if you don't mind us adding another baby to the mix which maybe is not the thing you were going for. But there's two of us so one of us could hold Arden while the other is babywrangling our son.

    I do not think that Arden's fussiness would be caused by your vitamins and supplements. I would keep taking them - they are good for you and those benefits get passed on to Arden! The only thing I could possibly think of is if there are artificial colors in the pill if she is ultra super duper sensitive, but I really think that it's very likely. I think everyone is always very fixated on maternal diet as the source of fussiness but I don't think there's very much science to back it up.

    Speaking of supplements, have you tried probiotics - for Arden? They appear to greatly reduce colicky crying and certainly don't do any harm, so if she's having unexplained crankiness I'd load her up to see if it improves, whether or not it counts as colic. :)

  3. I found you this link on Kellymom

    It seems to indicated that vitamin supplements are unessesary in most cases and that some vitamins and minerals do pass through to breastmilk. Thus they could have an effect on a baby, so though it is unlikely to be harmful, it could explain her mood shifts. FWIW, ithink it's more likely to be something in your diet than something in your vitamins. Try keeping a food log and see if you notice any patterns.

    Good luck with your solo parenting next week!

  4. I'm not sure about the vitamin thing, but I just wanted to say that I know how you feel (your second paragraph). It can be so, so hard, especially those first few months. They seem to just drag by, and those cranky days are the worst. And then having to take care of your baby alone and feeling isolated...sigh. Anyway, you're not alone...and this is very normal despite it being depressing some days. Hold on to the hope that it WILL get better. Every new day is another step closer to better times ahead. Hang in there!

  5. So hi, I'm Shavawn a very old classmate of Anna's from Winnemucca. I've been following your blog since I found Anna on facebook a while ago but haven't commented because I didn't think I had any helpful information. This time I DO!! My friend is a Doula and they are wonderful wonderful helps through the entire process of having a baby and caring for a child. They specifically understand the importance of postpartum support. This website explains it more. They even have a doula locator so you could find one near to you. It seems like an arduous process to find a doula, but I really do think it might help. AND I want to say I think you're doing a wonderful job. I don't think having babies and raising them is something that is easy and I hope you can find space to breathe and give yourself a hug, and hopefully you'll be able to locate some support through that website. If you want to know more you can e-mail me at I hope this finds you well and I'm sorry if I'm overstepping any boundaries.

  6. Oh my dearest... You're almost through the worst part of it!! Just hang on a little longer and you'll start feeling better. I remember when Quinn was 5 weeks old and I felt like I just could not do another day, then she smiled at me. You've met Pace and how disastrous he was at that age. I promise it gets better soon. DO ask for help if you need a good nap or to even get out of the house by yourself. It helps a lot and most people will be happy that you asked. Hang in there! I'm hoping to come out for a visit in another month or so. Can't wait to meet Arden and see the new place.

  7. i am so sorry arden is having a difficult time adjusting to life outside the womb. i know it must be hard to face the day not knowing what you will be facing and how you will do it alone. try to take it one minute at a time and do WHATEVER works. i remember...and still do...doing anything that would give me a minute of silence when daniel was having a rough day, even if it meant taking a midnight walk outside or a warm bath in the middle of the day. i also found that contrasting lights and music on the tv, like baby einstein, worked for 15 minutes sometimes. you will figure each other out, hang in there :]