oh those crazy hormones

damn that pms. it's making me wacky! yesterday afternoon, after a very very lazy morning, i was in a good mood. goofing around with anna, dancing around, basically doing stuff that involves "around" :) then, dum dum dummmm, i try to get dressed to go hiking. bring on the pouting and whining. "i'm fat", "nothing fits", "no, i can't wear your clothes, cause you're skinny dammit", "why can't i loose weight" and so on. i'm sure alot of you know what i'm sayin'. i know all the things i said aren't true, but it feels that way.

we went for a nice hike with olive (who hasn't really done anything bad since the last blog). it was at a local trail on cougar mt. it was just an hour hike in and back. what made it so great was that it was lightly snowing, flurries really, and it was cool to go from barely anything in the parking lot to a light covering on the ferns at our turn around point. so pretty. i was wishing i had my camera with me.

after the hike, anna had to go to a gaelic football meeting and i stayed home watching "american dad" on hulu. i made the mistake of starting to read another blog for a couple that got pregnant. these things suck me in. i went back to the very beginning when they first started trying. they had some troubles, took a long time, but ended up working. anna is home by this time and looking up data we had discussed before "what percentage of iui result in preg. vs. "regular" intercourse". the sad news is 4-10% vs 20%. 4%!!!! bring on the waterworks.

i start bawling. i want a baby sooo bad, and i don't handle failure well. i know that i'm not a failure if we don't get pregnant right off the bat, but i'm afraid that's how i'm going to feel. that's my nature. people keep assuring me that i'll be fine. i'm young and healthy. -sigh- i guess i can just keep doing what i'm doing and hope that march goes well.

here is what i'm doing now: i'm taking a few different vitamins/supplement. i have a triple omega-3 that i take 3 times a day, a calcium pill plus vitamin D i take 2 times, vitamin D liquid (very yummy with berry juices), alpha lipoic acid with green tea, multivitamin/mineral with lutein, chromium, selenium, folic acid (200%), and vitamin c. i'm going to start drinking a fertility tea on cd1*. it has chaste tree (vitex), red clover, red raspberry, and nettle. this will help in a lot of different ways. i'll discuss it later.

i've cut back on caffeine to doing half decaf/caf. my plan is to start having a cup just every other day. i've cut back on alcohol to just 3 glass/bottles a week. i plan to stop entirely in february except for special occasions (like our 5 yr anniversary!).

i upped the amount of fruits i'm eating to at least 3 a day. we've always eaten alot of veggies but i've started bring carrots, celery, and/or salad along to work also.

i'm trying to remain consistent with kickboxing. i need to start doing some exercises at home to strengthen my abs.

yeah, so i am doing a lot. i just hope it helps. so i end with a happy note, here is a picture of olive on a lovely hike we did to get to a mountain-top wedding for some friends.